Are you over age 65, single and thinking about entering the dating world? Are you not sure what to expect? Do you want to know the secrets and shortcuts to successful dating? Then, The Senior's Guide Dating (Again): Traditional And Online may be the book you need.
How has dating changed? Am I too old to date? What are ten ways to meet people in my community? Who pays for what? Is it lust or love? Is online dating safe? These are common questions for senior’s re-entering the dating scene and The Senior's Guide Dating (Again): Traditional And Online claims to have these answers and hundreds more. The book is a large print resource book with hands-on advice and straight-talking guidance about dating for seniors.
The baby-boomer generation is now emerging as the largest growing segment of online daters. As more seniors become at ease with using the Internet, one of the top things they want to do next is find a date!
The Senior's Guide Dating (Again): Traditional And Online is available for purchase online at Amazon.com. Other books in the Senior's Guide Series include: The Senior's Guide to Easy Computing, The Senior's Guide to Digital Photography, and The Senior's Guide to eBay. Two new releases this year will include The Senior's Guide to the Internet and The Senior's Guide to End of Life Issues.
9.17.2007
New Dating Guide for Seniors
First Date Do's and Do Not's
First dates can be very nerve-racking and may leave us shy, silent and blowing our chances of getting a second date because we weren't prepared for the first one. Here are some pointers to help you get the best start and make a good impression.
THINGS TO DO
1. Be on time - The last thing you want to do is make a bad impression on your date. If you are late then your date will think that you don’t care or that he/she isn't important. Even worse, your date might not hang around for you to turn up.
2. Make your partner feel comfortable - We all feel like a bag of nerves on our first date with someone; so by making your date feel comfortable you will be able to also relax and simply enjoy yourself.
3. Be an interesting date - The worse thing you can do is turn up for a date with someone then sit there all night with nothing to say or ask! Be prepared to be interesting and to have a good conversation. Show you are interesting (and a good listener) by asking questions that help you learn interesting things about your date. Dress great. Take great care in your hygiene. Don't reveal too much about yourself, but reveal just enough to show the other person that you are interesting and different - in a good way.
4. Laugh at their jokes - Even if you have heard the joke 100 times or more (or it just isn't funny at all) laughing a long with your date will make your date feel you are interested in him/her. It will at least make your date feel more comfortable with the situation.
5. Keep the conversation alive - That dreaded silence when no one knows what to say can seem to last for a life time and will make both of you think the other is boring. Jot down a few questions you would like to ask (but don't refer to the list during your date!). Practicing for the date can make quite a bit of difference and once you have started a great conversation, the rest will just follow. Here are a few conversation starters you may want to use.
6. Take an interest in your date - Listen to your date when he/she is talking. Be interested in what your date has to say and show how interested you are by asking questions about what your date is talking about. For example, if your date says he/she likes to travel then ask him/her what the most unique place is he/she has traveled to.
7. Take your date somewhere unique - First dates don’t just have to be about going to the cinema or to a restaurant for a nice meal. You will make a longer, lasting impression if you are imaginative with your date. Check out these creative date ideas and these first date ideas.
8. Be confident - Confidence says a lot about a person. Being more confident will help you get through that first date with ease.
9. Be yourself - You won’t fool anyone by pretending to be someone you are not.
10. Most importantly - STAY SAFE. Check out our pointers to dating safely.
THINGS NOT TO DO
1. Be late - First impressions count and if you are late then this will make your date think of you as lazy, having lack of initiative, or not putting an importance on the evening.
2. Talk about yourself all night - There is nothing worse then a person that loves to talk about himself or herself all the time. Be the one asking the questions!
3. Talk about past relationships - Maybe that’s how you lost the last one. Nobody wants to hear you drone on about your ex and what he or she did or didn't do. Concentrate on your date and see if you can get to the second date.
4. Eat with your mouth open - This will not only create a negative impression of you to your date, but also to other people around you.
5. Ask too many personal questions - This is your first date and your date may not want to reveal too much about himself/herself just yet. If you like each other and want to continue with the relationship then there will be plenty of time to ask more intimate questions.
6. Try to be someone you are not - It's important to be yourself as you don't want other people to settle for anything different. Trying to act like someone you are not will only backfire in the future.
7. Forget to thank them for the date - It is good manners and etiquette to thank your date for the evening. If you don't want to go on a date again, this is where you will get your chance to end it. If you do, then this is your chance to ask your date out on another date.
8. Propose marriage or kids - Unless you don’t want to see them again.
9. Pursue sex; especially after your partner has said no.
10. Get drunk - You don’t want to spend half the night in the toilet vomiting and your date won’t think much of you. You can also put yourself at risk of unwanted advances and will not be in the right frame of mind or body to do anything about it.
10 Important Dating Tips for Men
There is a saying that "you never get a second chance to make a good first impression." With that in mind, it is vital to be fully prepared to make a great impression on each date you go on. Here are 10 tips for men on dating success and making an impression that will last.
1. Take a Bath or Shower
One of the worst things you could do when going out on a date (especially if it is your first date) is to turn up unshaven, looking dirty and smelling. Women are the cleaner of the species and will partly judge you on how hygienic you are. After all, you would be appalled if she turned up for the date looking like a mutt dog with tangled fur that hadn't bathed for days.
It doesn’t cost anything to take a bath and to make an effort to look and smell nice. Remember, bad breath and body odor are an instant turn off and she will assume that this is how you are all the time even if you are just having a bad day. As a result, she won’t be able to see beyond your appearance.
2. Arrive on Time
Whatever you do, don’t turn up late. Turning up late will send out all the wrong impressions. At first she may think she's been stood up, but after arriving late her opinion will change to you being unreliable or not caring enough about her to be on time. If you are picking her up from her home then it is advisable to turn up five minute before you are due. Any earlier and you might catch her adjusting her makeup or still getting ready. Five minutes early is the earliest you should arrive. But never be late.
3. Give Her a Thoughtful Gift
A woman feels special when the man she is with gives her a thoughtful gift. What is a thoughtful gift? Well, you obvious know some things about a woman before a first date that came from phone conversations, emails, etc. Take what you know and buy her an appropriate date gift. For example, let's say that the woman really likes golf. There are companies that make chocolate golf sets - a miniature chocolate club with a chocolate tee and chocolate golf ball. This would make a great first date gift. For a generic thoughtful gift, buy a chocolate rose. That's always appropriate without being overboard.
4. Be a Gentleman
Hold the door open for her, let her walk through the doors first, pull her chair, and be polite to her along with the people around you. Women like to feel special and by treating her like a lady she will think you are fantastic.
5. Compliment Her
The first thing to say to her is you look beautiful before you even ask how she is. Keep up the compliments throughout your date, but do not go over board (3-4 for the night should be more than enough). A woman loves to be complimented, to feel beautiful and to think that you are attracted to her. The more sincere and observant your compliment, the bigger impact it will have. But remember again not to go overboard. More than four compliments may make you appear fake and not real.
6. Listen to Her and Ask Questions
Nobody wants to spend the whole night listening to someone talk about themselves. But you do have to get to know each other. Ask her questions, but more importantly listen to what she has to say. A woman is attracted to a man who is genuinely interested in hearing what she has to say. Spend a lot more time asking her questions and letting her talk than talking yourself.
7. Prepare for the Conversation
The last thing you want is to be sitting at a meal with nothing to talk about. Think about your date and what you would like to know about her. You may think that it is easy to talk and that you will not run out of questions to ask or that you will automatically have the answers but until you are in the situation, you have no idea what it will be like. Avoid talking about past relationships or other women while on the date. Keep your focus, attention, and conversation fully on her.
8. Pay for the Date
It's virtually always appropriate for a gentleman to offer to pay for the date. When a man takes it upon himself to pay for the date, he is displaying that old act of "chivalry" that is missing from many men these days. However, some women feel more comfortable going "dutch" and if she insists on this, then don't resist. To avoid awkwardness, make sure you let her know before the date that you plan on paying for it.
9. The Goodnight Kiss
Some women prefer not to kiss after a first date, while others may be disappointed if the guy doesn't even try. There is no easy answer to this question. Body language and chemistry throughout the night is key in the decision you make. If it feels right, then you may want to consider making the move. If it doesn't feel right then a friendly hug may be more appropriate.
10. I'll Call You
Only tell her that you will call her if you mean it and intend on seeing her again. Do not, under any circumstances, tell her you will call her if you are not interested and have no plans to call her. In this case, when saying goodbye, just say, "It was nice meeting you" and wish her luck. Or you could just say good night, smile and walk a way. But if you do like her and are interested, then you must let her know.
10 Ways to Break Up Graciously
Whether it's you or your partner who decides to end your relationship, it's not easy to break up. Nobody enjoys breaking up, but sometimes it has to be done. Here are 10 tips on how to break up graciously:
1. Don't drag it out.
When it is over, it's over. You're not doing your partner or yourself any favors by delaying the inevitable. Sooner is better than later.
2. Be honest.
The oldest line is "it’s me not you." Although this might be easier, the only way you can truly help your partner is by being completely honest.
3. Don't overlap.
The worst thing you can do is start seeing someone else before you tell your partner that it is over. It not only makes you look bad, but will also plant seeds of doubt in your new partner.
4. Can we be friends?
Don't expect to be friends after a break up. Even if you were friends before you became intimate, your friendship likely can never be the same again.
5. Listen.
Don’t expect to end the relationship with your partner wanting to leave it at that, especially if it has come out the blue. Your partner will want to ask questions and may even try and talk you into changing your mind. Allow your partner to have his/her say. This will give you the chance to explain in full why you want to end the relationship. Think about how you would feel if you where the one being dumped. You would want to ask questions.
6. Don't do it in a public place.
Even if you no longer like your partner, the worse thing you can do is dump him/her in a public place. It is the ultimate humiliation.
7. Write down how you feel.
Ending it face to face can be very difficult. Write a letter explaining why you want to break up. But deliver it in person, and be there to talk with your partner afterwards.
8. Don't feel guilty.
More often than not when we try to end a relationship we are made to feel guilty by the other, which makes us stay and hate the person more. If you want out, then no matter how much your partner begs ("I’ll change," "I’ve done so much for you"), stick to your decision before things get worse.
9. Don't pick a fight.
The only reason we pick a fight is to ease the guilt that we bring upon our partner when he/she thinks it is his/her fault. Get straight to the point and don’t make your partner suffer more than necessary.
10. Leave as you would like to be left.
Being dumped is a horrible thing. Try to think about how you would want to be dumped if the tables were turned. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
First Date Conversation Starters and Ideas
There is nothing worse, when meeting someone for the first time, than that awkward silence after the initial greeting. Kick the silence into orbit with these conversation starters:
» How was your day?
» You look really nice, where did you get (item in question)?
» How was work?
» Have you seen any movies recently? How did you like it/them?
» What kind of music do you listen to?
» What sports do you play or like? How long have you played for?
» What interesting things did you do this weekend (week)?
» Have you ever been to (a local restaurant)?
» What kind of foods do you like?
» Where are you from?
» Where did you go to school/college?
» Have you read any good books lately? Was it interesting?
» What do you normally do for fun?
» Do you like (an interest of yours)?
» What's the neatest place you've traveled to?
» What's one place you haven't traveled to yet that you really want to go?
These simple ideas will get the conversation flowing and you will find out what the other is interested in. Be sure to listen carefully to what the other person says so that you can ask follow-up questions while learning new things.